The Lost and The Damned › General › Gaming Humour

The most misunderstood chapter ever. Apparently.

Posted by

messyart –

This portion of the Angry Marines thread has been moved here, because the thread was derailed by some... Peculiar claims of steroid abuse by some unscrupulous fellow.
As such, I'd appreciate if the content herein remained ANGRY/ Stoner/ spam marines related. Forever.

"The PDF sold their lives dearly to stop the greenskin advance upon our primary Hive, but on the horde came. There would be no escape-- but for the Planetary Governor, whose escape shuttle was prepped to leave before the attack had even began.

As our leader left us to die, we prayed to The Emperor for deliverance while we continued risking our lives to protect his works. Glory be to his swift answer.

A yellow Thunderhawk, identified as Necrogoth Fuckshit, descended like a falling star, the much larger transport vehicle crushing the smaller one as it landed on the same pad, and through the fire and smoke the mighty figure of a Space Marine strode forth. I will never forget the seething expression on his face as he looked upon us, then upon the Hive, and then upon the xenos.

The Marine did not pause, he drew his chainsword and charged down the stairs with a battlecry upon his lips, screaming "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" or something of the sort, a cry with no end. Even as he disappeared into the Hive we heard him clearly, even as we saw the small yellow figure leap from the Hive into the throng of green below we heard him.
Drop pods followed as more Marines smashed into the horde, more yellow armored Marines echoing the endless cry.

The xenos were crushed utterly, and still screaming in rage, the Space Marines ran up the Hive once more, to where the Governor still stood staring at the crushed wreckage of his escape shuttle in disbelief. The Marines poured into their Thunderhawk, but the Marine from before ran right up to the cowardly official, and his finger pressing painfully against the man's forehead, ended his warcry at last,:

"-UUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU!"

Rather unceremoniously, the Governor was then pitched off the top of the Hive, with his underwear pulled up over his head."

22 Comments

Classic

List

Threaded

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Wooow ! Great stuff. Space Marines on Anabolic steroid.
Heres som Wikipedia info;
Fatherhood has been demonstrated to lower men's testosterone levels. (Nooo kids)
On average, an adult human male body produces about ten times more testosterone than an adult human female body.
(No female Space Marine)
Testosterone is essential for health and well-being. (Not for these guys)
Testosterone is necessary for normal sperm development. (WTF ! Useless.)
Falling in love decreases men's testosterone. ( For god sake, no female Space Marine ! )
Loss of scalp hair ( Ahaa !)

Married, kids and hair, and no big bolter. ( eh....read; weapon )

O` the bells.....the bells....

messyart

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Don't be silly, they don't use chemicals.

They're just fucking angry.

Mankinds first mistake; Questioning why those around him, are dying.

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Ok....sure.

O` the bells.....the bells....

MortiS-the-Lost

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

In reply to this post by tallyho

tallyho wrote

Wooow ! Great stuff. Space Marines on Anabolic steroid.
Heres som Wikipedia info;
Fatherhood has been demonstrated to lower men's testosterone levels. (Nooo kids)
On average, an adult human male body produces about ten times more testosterone than an adult human female body.
(No female Space Marine)
Testosterone is essential for health and well-being. (Not for these guys)
Testosterone is necessary for normal sperm development. (WTF ! Useless.)
Falling in love decreases men's testosterone. ( For god sake, no female Space Marine ! )
Loss of scalp hair ( Ahaa !)

Married, kids and hair, and no big bolter. ( eh....read; weapon )

Interesting, but what does this have to do with the Adeptus Infuriatus?

I see it's relevance in a discussion about the (im)possibility of Female Space Maines, but why did you post it here?

if you'd like to read up a little on Angry Marines Here is a Wiki page

-----------------------------------
~The ravings of a single mad Goblin is bad enough, but such a power-hungry, malice-filled creature as Mortis can never hope to be understood~

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Believe me, the job of angry marines are awesome.

And the article in the Wiki page convinced me to try these maniacs in Space Crusade.
It will be fun to throw some fuck you grenades around.
Still, i get this funny image in my head, dopeheads running around, angry as hell.
With fuck you grenades, ass buster bombs and other funny things, kicking alien balls.

When it comes to steroids and testosterone, i have to admit it, im no chemist.

Or was it this that convinced me?

"IF YOU DISS US IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND FUCKING APOLIGIZE!!! OR THAT WILL BE THE LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER FUCKING WAKE UP WITH YOUR NUTS INTACT!!''"

Angry Marine

O` the bells.....the bells....

messyart

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Hmm.. Stoner Marines...

....

Mankinds first mistake; Questioning why those around him, are dying.

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Man, thats more like it, better look up my bolta gun.

O` the bells.....the bells....

MortiS-the-Lost

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

That's a Jokaero surely

anyway this is rather off subject now ...

-----------------------------------
~The ravings of a single mad Goblin is bad enough, but such a power-hungry, malice-filled creature as Mortis can never hope to be understood~

messyart

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

I suggest all are deleted after my first reply. And then this.

Perhaps I post the shitty story I spammed your wall with!

Mankinds first mistake; Questioning why those around him, are dying.

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Cant we all just be friends.......

Luv Marines

Messyart, your story was great.

O` the bells.....the bells....

MortiS-the-Lost

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

In reply to this post by messyart

messyart wrote

I suggest all are deleted after my first reply. And then this.

Perhaps I post the shitty story I spammed your wall with!

Hmm I suppose I could delete from 'Stoner Marines' onwards

any objections ?

-----------------------------------
~The ravings of a single mad Goblin is bad enough, but such a power-hungry, malice-filled creature as Mortis can never hope to be understood~

messyart

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Eh I was just thinking that the anabolics and such was a bit useless in here :3

& Tally, I meant something I threw up on Facebook. ;)

Mankinds first mistake; Questioning why those around him, are dying.

MortiS-the-Lost

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

I'll leave this a day or so for democratic discussion before I do anything

-----------------------------------
~The ravings of a single mad Goblin is bad enough, but such a power-hungry, malice-filled creature as Mortis can never hope to be understood~

tallyho

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

Not a problem, no objections.

O` the bells.....the bells....

Marchomer

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

In reply to this post by MortiS-the-Lost

MortiS-the-Lost wrote

Hmm I suppose I could delete from 'Stoner Marines' onwards

Sorry MortiS, but if there's the risk that a lot of these posts will be deleted, I want to contribute with some spam!

MortiS-the-Lost wrote

any objections ?

No objections!

+ Other planes lie beyond the reach Of normal sense and common roads But they are no less real Than what we see or touch or feel. +

MortiS-the-Lost

Re: Angry Marines in Space Crusade - Finished Version!

That's not Spam - that's Bacon!

This is Spam:

+++ This is now officially the worst thread on the forum +++

-----------------------------------
~The ravings of a single mad Goblin is bad enough, but such a power-hungry, malice-filled creature as Mortis can never hope to be understood~