COMMENT: 5 pop videos that LIED to us...

Posted by General Biakal on Jan 21, 2011; 11:25am
URL: http://the-lost-and-the-damned.71.s1.nabble.com/COMMENT-5-pop-videos-that-LIED-to-us-tp5947317.html

When you think about it, in the world of popular music is quite amazing. Very few people with amazing voices are ugmos... apart from that old mental Scottish lady who won X factor.
But what do you do if you have a good idea for a song, a brilliant voice, a real talent but a fucking face like a dead rat?
There are two options: dress like a cunt and cover yourself in face shape changing make-up (the Lady Ga-Ga) or go for option two... a 1.21 gigawatt bulb three inches from the singers pug ugly face.

Main Offenders would be:
5: LeAnn Rimes, How Do I Live

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90e8ryPDKWo
what you do is, you take a plain country an wester singer with a good voice and release a song, and on the video you fire enough rays at her to give South America skin cancer. If it is a hit, you send her to Beverly Hills and have her face rebuilt Steve Austin style. If it flops... well lets just say in an alternate universe LeAnn has atop flight career in the Motel Maintenannce industry.


4: Cher, Believe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uu3kCEEc98

I would, without a seconds hesitation, be on Cher like a cheap bikini. In the 1970s. Any decade starting with an 8,9 or 0- forget it. In the late 90’s she tried to reinvent herself as “not a laughing stock” with this auto-tune masterpiece. It fucked us off then and its fucking me off now... but even with an inch of foundation and clever use of mirrors to channel the entire Sun at Cher she still looks so old and tired. And plastic.
Out of interest see also  “Strong Enough”

3: Ronan Keating Life is a Roller coaster

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsN5MtKtWcg

the recipe- take one adulterous, snaggle-toothed balding pikey. Film from either ten feet away or shine a parcan in his stupid lumpy face. Sell to stupid middle aged bingo fans. Have money shoved through letterbox weekly.
luckly for the lighting director this idiotic bog trotters skin pigment rates 9 on the pasty scale, so all that was need to light him up like Paris was a single LED torch.


2: Sneaker Pimps, 6 Underground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrvk1bmTayg

THIS VIDEO LIES. It does, do not trust it. In the mid 90’s when i was like, cool and music existed just for me and people of my age group target audience, the bird in this video was the be-all and end of of what i wanted to be inside. Then they released a few more singles and i realised she frightened my dog. It still hurts.


1:Elastica, Connection (second video)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbvkwiFg3Yw

This is the main offender. “THE Video that Lied “. The bottom line is this: Junstine Frischmann is like Tracey Emin on more coke but before the stroke. She is so minging she actually lowers the average attractivness level of the entire human race. She looks like she has grubby tits.
But in the orginal video for Connection she looked like what she was, a heroin thin indie-chick with a bull dyke bowl cut. Once the song broke big there wa sonly one solution... they re-shot the video.

(true)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsPU42s1Lf4

that is the original, 20p video. You will note the complete lack of A: clever lighting and B: urges to bone Justine.
Im pretty bitter to say the least about this. On the plus side i am considering buying a fucking huge mag light and paying an Imigrant to walk in front of me shining it into my face

WORD.