Games Cheese Shop
Posted by
MortiS-the-Lost
–
MortiS-the-Lost
–
One of the more bizarre ideas we had when trying to come up with a name for this forum was Games Cheese Shop, partly an ironic stab at cheesy GW has become lately and also a reference to the Monty Python 'Cheese Shop' sketch. But what would happen if a GW store really was like that ...
[a small Games Workshop store some where]
[the staff member stands alone in the shop behind the till]
[a customer walks in]
Customer: I was sitting at home reading R A Salvatore's The Crystal Shard, book one of the Ice Wind Dale Trilogy, when I decided I'd like to purchase some scale figurines for wargaming and tabletop roleplaying games.
Staff: Come again?
Customer (in a stupid voice): I want to buy some miniatures!
Staff: oh right ... I thought your where complaining about the fact I've been playing the same middle-of-the-road-rock compilation album over and over for the last 3 weeks
Customer: No .... I can put up with that for now
Staff: yes I love Blink 128
Customer: ... er ... yes ... I came here to buy some miniatures
Staff: Well you've come to the right place this is the best miniatures shop in the district
Customer: really?
Staff: yes
Customer: Well I'd like to buy some Drow since I've been reading R A Salvatore
Staff: Sorry we don't do Drow
Customer: ok then ... Dark Elves will do
Staff: Ah well, Dark Elves have been on order for two weeks, I was expecting them this morning
Customer: How about High Elves?
Staff: Sold out I'm afraid
Customer: Wood Elves?
Staff: No
Customer: not my day is it ... do you have any Dwarfs?
Staff: won't be in until Tuesday
Customer: Hmm ok ... Halflings?
Staff: no
Customer: (sigh) Gnomes?
Staff: no
Customer: Goblins?
Staff: no
Customer: Orcs?
Staff: Orcs or Orkz?
Customer: eh?
Staff: Fantasy or 40K?
Customer: Fantasy please
Staff: sorry I don't appear to have any Fantasy Orcs sir
Customer: ok I'll buy some 40K Orkz then
Staff: don't have any 40K Orkz either
Customer: Hmm I see ... well what about Half Orcs?
Staff: no
Customer: Hobgoblins?
Staff: no
Customer: Ogres?
Staff: no
Customer: Trolls?
Staff: no
Customer: Giants?
Staff: no
Customer: Minotaur?
Staff: no
Customer: Beastmen? Lizard Men? Rat Men?
Staff: ah! we do have some Skaven!
Customer: Ok then, I'll have a few Skaven
Staff: They are bit miscast
Customer: oh I don't mind cleaning them up a bit
Staff: They're a bit more miscast than you can clean up
Customer: really?
Staff: oh yes they are quite miscast
Customer: Can I see them?
Staff [bending down behind the till] oh! they've been sent back to the supplier!
Customer: Skeletons?
Staff: no
Customer: Zombies?
Staff: no
Customer: Necromancers?
Staff: no
Customer: Liches
Staff: no
Customer: Wraiths?
Staff: no
Customer: Wights?
Staff: no
Customer: Ghouls?
Staff: yea?
Customer: Splendid. Well, I'll have a blister pack then, please.
Staff: oh I'm sorry I thought you were referring to me, I'm Mr Ghouls
Customer: Giant Rat?
Staff: no
Customer: Giant Spiders?
Staff: no
Customer: Bats?
Staff: no
Customer: Snotlings?
Staff: no
Customer: Nurglings?
Staff: no
Customer: Plaguebearers? Bloodletters? Demonettes? Horrors?
Staff: sorry no Demons at all
Customer: Chaos Warriors?
Staff: no
Customer: Chaos Spacemarines?
Staff: no
Customer: Eldar?
Staff: no
Customer: Dark Eldar?
Staff: no
Customer: Tyranids?
Staff: no
Customer: Necrons?
Staff: no
Customer: Zoats?
Staff: no
Customer: Squats?
Staff: no
Customer: Ok lets keep this simple ... can I have some Space Marines?
Staff: not much call for them around here
Customer: Not much call for them? It's the single most popular army in the world!
Staff: Not here
Customer: and what is the most popular army around here?
Staff: Tau
Customer: Tau?
Staff: Yes number one best seller
Customer: and do you have any?
Staff: [looks around the shop] nnnnnnnn ... nnnnnnnn....no
Customer: not much of a miniatures store is it?
Staff: it's the best in the district
Customer: And what leads you to that conclusion?
Staff: well it's so clean
Customer: Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by miniatures
Staff: you havn't asked me about humans yet ...
Customer: and would it be worth it?
Staff: maybe ...
Customer: SHUT THAT BLOODY BLINK 128 UP!
[the music stops]
Customer: ok I'm game ... do you have any humans?
Staff: ... er .... no
Customer: No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. Tell me something, do you in fact have any miniatures at all?
Staff: yes
Customer: Now I'm going to ask you that question once more, and if you say 'no' I'm going to shoot you through the head. Now, do you have any miniatures at all?
Staff: no
[The Customer pulls out a gun and shoots the staff member through the head]
Please note this is not a stab at the staff who work in GW stores ... ok thats a lie
[a small Games Workshop store some where]
[the staff member stands alone in the shop behind the till]
[a customer walks in]
Customer: I was sitting at home reading R A Salvatore's The Crystal Shard, book one of the Ice Wind Dale Trilogy, when I decided I'd like to purchase some scale figurines for wargaming and tabletop roleplaying games.
Staff: Come again?
Customer (in a stupid voice): I want to buy some miniatures!
Staff: oh right ... I thought your where complaining about the fact I've been playing the same middle-of-the-road-rock compilation album over and over for the last 3 weeks
Customer: No .... I can put up with that for now
Staff: yes I love Blink 128
Customer: ... er ... yes ... I came here to buy some miniatures
Staff: Well you've come to the right place this is the best miniatures shop in the district
Customer: really?
Staff: yes
Customer: Well I'd like to buy some Drow since I've been reading R A Salvatore
Staff: Sorry we don't do Drow
Customer: ok then ... Dark Elves will do
Staff: Ah well, Dark Elves have been on order for two weeks, I was expecting them this morning
Customer: How about High Elves?
Staff: Sold out I'm afraid
Customer: Wood Elves?
Staff: No
Customer: not my day is it ... do you have any Dwarfs?
Staff: won't be in until Tuesday
Customer: Hmm ok ... Halflings?
Staff: no
Customer: (sigh) Gnomes?
Staff: no
Customer: Goblins?
Staff: no
Customer: Orcs?
Staff: Orcs or Orkz?
Customer: eh?
Staff: Fantasy or 40K?
Customer: Fantasy please
Staff: sorry I don't appear to have any Fantasy Orcs sir
Customer: ok I'll buy some 40K Orkz then
Staff: don't have any 40K Orkz either
Customer: Hmm I see ... well what about Half Orcs?
Staff: no
Customer: Hobgoblins?
Staff: no
Customer: Ogres?
Staff: no
Customer: Trolls?
Staff: no
Customer: Giants?
Staff: no
Customer: Minotaur?
Staff: no
Customer: Beastmen? Lizard Men? Rat Men?
Staff: ah! we do have some Skaven!
Customer: Ok then, I'll have a few Skaven
Staff: They are bit miscast
Customer: oh I don't mind cleaning them up a bit
Staff: They're a bit more miscast than you can clean up
Customer: really?
Staff: oh yes they are quite miscast
Customer: Can I see them?
Staff [bending down behind the till] oh! they've been sent back to the supplier!
Customer: Skeletons?
Staff: no
Customer: Zombies?
Staff: no
Customer: Necromancers?
Staff: no
Customer: Liches
Staff: no
Customer: Wraiths?
Staff: no
Customer: Wights?
Staff: no
Customer: Ghouls?
Staff: yea?
Customer: Splendid. Well, I'll have a blister pack then, please.
Staff: oh I'm sorry I thought you were referring to me, I'm Mr Ghouls
Customer: Giant Rat?
Staff: no
Customer: Giant Spiders?
Staff: no
Customer: Bats?
Staff: no
Customer: Snotlings?
Staff: no
Customer: Nurglings?
Staff: no
Customer: Plaguebearers? Bloodletters? Demonettes? Horrors?
Staff: sorry no Demons at all
Customer: Chaos Warriors?
Staff: no
Customer: Chaos Spacemarines?
Staff: no
Customer: Eldar?
Staff: no
Customer: Dark Eldar?
Staff: no
Customer: Tyranids?
Staff: no
Customer: Necrons?
Staff: no
Customer: Zoats?
Staff: no
Customer: Squats?
Staff: no
Customer: Ok lets keep this simple ... can I have some Space Marines?
Staff: not much call for them around here
Customer: Not much call for them? It's the single most popular army in the world!
Staff: Not here
Customer: and what is the most popular army around here?
Staff: Tau
Customer: Tau?
Staff: Yes number one best seller
Customer: and do you have any?
Staff: [looks around the shop] nnnnnnnn ... nnnnnnnn....no
Customer: not much of a miniatures store is it?
Staff: it's the best in the district
Customer: And what leads you to that conclusion?
Staff: well it's so clean
Customer: Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by miniatures
Staff: you havn't asked me about humans yet ...
Customer: and would it be worth it?
Staff: maybe ...
Customer: SHUT THAT BLOODY BLINK 128 UP!
[the music stops]
Customer: ok I'm game ... do you have any humans?
Staff: ... er .... no
Customer: No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. Tell me something, do you in fact have any miniatures at all?
Staff: yes
Customer: Now I'm going to ask you that question once more, and if you say 'no' I'm going to shoot you through the head. Now, do you have any miniatures at all?
Staff: no
[The Customer pulls out a gun and shoots the staff member through the head]
Please note this is not a stab at the staff who work in GW stores ... ok thats a lie
| Free forum by Nabble | Edit this page |
6 Comments
Re: Games Cheese Shop
Re: Games Cheese Shop
Re: Games Cheese Shop
Re: Games Cheese Shop
Re: Games Cheese Shop
Re: Games Cheese Shop