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Scratternomics: (verb) the complicated financial system adopted by the white underclass Scratternomics works like this. Scratter A has a track suit which when new out of Kays Catalougue, cost £150. he has a pair of trainers which (before he borrowed them from his friend) cost new £110. these are the only garments Scratter A owns and he wears them every day. Human B has a wide selection of supermarket clothes with a small number of more expenive high street items for special occasions. no single garment would normally cost more than £30 to the scratter, Human B is "a tramp". Example 2: Scratter A wants a laptop. Human B wants a laptop. Human B buys a mid spec machine, after all he is only going to do some light surfing and the odd letter. Scratter A buys a Mac Book pro in a pub for £100. yes its damaged from where the security clamps and locks were torn off andit is security marked with the details of the local comprhensive but, at the end of the day, Human B should be ashamed by his trampy laptop can you see how Scratternomics works? your basic Scratter will spend lots of money on cheap jewlery, but little on clothes. He will also steal used goods of a sometimes semi-intimate nature (shoes, caps etc- i mean really- ewww) dental hygene is frowned upon yet facial studs are mandatory. An R reg Saxo VTR is an aspirational commodity A scratter has no pride... as humans would understand. I once saw some scratters actually fighting over the contents of a skip outside a fire damaged shop- true story. for some reason fire damaged, melted and FREE Nikes are better than £19.99 ones brand new and fresh from a clean shop. i dislike this brand of vermin intensly. Keanu celebrates his A level passes but there is sort of an important point to this. we, the UK as a nation have always had a verminous underclass intent on theft and generally just being a shit. In fact, we owe them everything. Have you ever wondered how Britain forged an empire, defeating some of the most savage peoples of earth? yes we had guns but often so did they, and the single shot rifles meant very often the majority of battles ended in hand to hand fighting. would you expect a 5' 6 victorian soldier to be able to lay the beat down to a 6'3 zulu warrior? no... BUT THEY DID. by the time your average victorian scratter was 16-18 he was already a graduate of one of the roughest hell holes on earth... the victorian inner city. he could fight with his hands, knives, bottles, he was fast and he was LUCKY. with an infant mortality rate of 80% only the badass and the street smart survived- and they fought every day, for each scrap of food or drop of gin. compare that to the average zulu warrior who actually had a comparativly idyllic life... much better fed, much lower infant mortality rate and yes, he may spend his life hunting Lions... but he is very rarely in a fist/knife fight to the death, seeing as just about everyone around him in his kraal was in his extended family. He will be brave, fit and confident, but lacks the fighting skills of his scratter counterpart. If it all goes wrong hunting a lion, you get either eaten or maimed... there is not a lot of middle ground. you pit a hunter gatherer, albeit a physically fit and muscular one, against a fucking knife manic then my boy, this is the onlytime the saying "never bet on the white guy" is questionable... and if you dont believe me... ask yourself... in a dark alley would you rather fight the Artful Dodger or Kunte Kinte? which brings us to the Imperial Guard. There are many similarities between trained british soldiers fighting zulu warriors and Guardsmen fighting Orks... except the Orks are a bit better at fighting! the hives humanity live in seem very similar to the conditions of Victorian London... hard work, opressive regime and the feeling of privation. I would not be surprised if hivemen are just as rough and canny as any victorian street ganger!
"WAAAAGH! VROOM VROOM!!! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA! Dead gud innit yoof?!" - typical Mekboy sales pitch
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